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76 Re: Forum One Archives on Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:42 pm

I will post the story we have so far after I make my character!

Name: Rare (or Spooky)
Sex: Yes please
Age: 19
Good or Evil: Chaotically neutral
Planning or Meh, whatever: Meh, Whatever
Class: Shapeshifter
Race/Speices: Human/Bee
Magic: Transformations, Relationships with robots
Character Bio: Rare is Dog breaths best Ho, but she might just be in it for the robots.

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77 Re: Forum One Archives on Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:42 pm

And then Rare came out of Fuji's closet, dressed in nothing but a black and yellow bee suit. Fuji sat up, looked around, spotting Rare dressed in her succulent décolletage, and gasped with lust wanton on his lips, 'Oh Dewma-ImeanRare, come here.

Rare took a draw from her Smirnoff and planted a small kiss on Fuji's forehead. "Oh Fuji," Rare cooed as she slowly unbuttoned his shirt. The moonlight caressed her bee suit in a way that made Fuji's heart race - she was a tease, all right, picking the plumpest and fuzziest of bee suits. He watched greedily as she slowly twirled, showing off all the curves God had blessed her with. "Why do you look at me so?" She asked innocently, although her eyes twinkled mischievously. 'She's a devil woman' Fuji thought grabbing Rare's arm and yanking her closer, her short spiky hair dangling inches from his face, a faint perfume tickled his nose. 'but she's MY devil'.

And then Dewmann stepped into the room. "Fuji I got the grocer-" He tried to say, before being cut silent by the sight of Rare, in the most beautiful bee outfit she possessed pressed against Fuji, who was not wearing a shirt. "What in the...?" Was all he could say. The sight was horrifying. "Rare? What are... Fuji... I don't...?" He wasn't able to finish a sentence, much less three words. The sight of his roommate, who was always accusing him of being gay, engaged in activity with a woman in a bee outfit was not something he was prepared for. At least not on Labor Day weekend.

"I-I'm just so confused, Dewman!" Fuji shot up from the bed, knocking Rare over in the process.

This seemed to be the typical mood of Fuji, Rare though to herself as she regained her composure and pressed her forehead to the cool glass pane of Fuji and Dewman's apartment window. Smoke from the streets and chimneys billowed into the air, choking the city slowly. She pressed a dainty hand to her lips, listening as the guys behind her began to argue in their typical fashion.

"It's getting worse," Fuji said finally, a thin line of bitterness and realization curling through his words. Rare could feel the other giving short fleeting glances around the room, looking for the right words to speak. "You and me Dewman, the tension is.."

"Excuse me, gentlemen." Rare purred as she pushed herself off the window, the city crying out in despair outside in forms of cat screams and car backfires. She rested a hand on Dewman's broad shoulder before leaving. "Thank you for having me over, Fuji. Dewman, you are a very lucky fellow."

"What is that suppose to-" But Dewman never finished his sentence as Rare was already gone, now a mere shadow in the night. "God damn girl thinks she batman." Dewman muttered.

And no one noticed 2me leaving through the other window with Fuji's groceries, and the batteries from every remote in the place.

"What was the tension you were talking about back there?" Dewmann said, pretending to be oblivious. This wasn't hard to pull off, Dewmann always seemed to never know exactly what was going on. But this time, he wanted a way to get Fuji to explain, just so Dewmann could have an excuse to talk about it, and correct Fuji, saying that there was no tension, and that it was all in Fuji's head.

Ever since they had moved in together, Fuji had always been acting odd around Dewmann. Even so, Dewmann never noticed it, simply seeing themselves as good friends, and anything he noticed about Fuji he just thought was one of his gay jokes.

But that until Rare came into the picture and started hinting it. Tonight was one of those nights where Rare suggested something, and, like Fuji said, the tension was getting worse.

Fuji avoided eye contact with Dewmann, as if keeping from looking eye-to-eye would keep the question away.

Dewmann rubbed his curly brown hair, frusturated with Fuji. It would grow into an afro if he let it, but he thought that was a bit too ostentatious even for him. One minute he could be quiet, usually in a topic that he was bored/uninterested/nervous about, the next, he could be laughing and joking about something.

"Dude, are you even gonna say something?" Dewmann fianlly questioned Fuji's silence. "What's up?"

Rare threw the bee suit into the trash, revealing a thinner bee costume underneath- a long elegant yellow silk dress with black stripes running down the bottom. Rare was catty and flirty, but liked to think of having some class left in her. Nevertheless, she had spent the rest of the day wandering down streets, barking at dogs and throwing pebbles at houses, straining her eyes for any sign of the a familiar face. The city was wet today, rain that refused to leave back into whatever Heaven was left.

Along the way, someone stole her umbrella.

2me placed the umbrella he had lifted from the intriguingly crazy lady above the entrance to his lair.

He sat back and began to cook a pizza he had stolen along with a bunch of other groceries but then his watch beeped.
He sighed. It was time to go sit by the plaza and grab people's ankles for a while. "One has duties, I suppose." he thought as he slipped out through the alleys into the dusk.
In his head he continued to compose his magnum opus, "On homelessness and ninja-thievery."

Along the way a rival hobo-ninja attacked and was very surprised to discover an extreme close up of the inside of a trash can filled with rotten food, smouldering cigarettes and what appeared to be a furry bee suit.

As I walk down the dark and lonely street listening to the gentle rain I feel a wet tenticle lash to my ankle. Shrieks of fear fill my lungs as I snap my head to look, blood pounding in my ears I see 2me peeking from under a park bench chewing on the crotch of what appeared to be a filthy bee suit.

"Oh hey 2me". "Watsup? you scared the piss out of me". "Mmmpfh huwugmbfhh" 2me retorted. "Catch you later 2me, I'm going to follow the chick in the yellow dress holding the vibrator over there".

I follow the alluring woman watching as it's damp silky fabric clings in all the right places listening to the gentle hum from her right hand. She ducks into a train station, I follow. I can't see her but I catch a whiff of her perfume and her vibrator. I hear the hum to my left and as I turn to look I catch a glimpse of her perfectly manicured ass disappearing into the Men's room. My heart beats faster, I am trembling from head to toe. Do I follow this dangerously sexual vision or should I run as fast and as far as I can from her?

I timidly peer into the room. I see the hem of her long dress on the last stall. As I pass the twenty or more stalls nearing her, I see Dewman's foot gently tapping the foot of a man in alligator shoes in the stall next to him. That's odd I thought.

As I reach the last stall, my heart pounds so hard in my ears I barely hear the words "Come in, I need you".

"Are you SURE your toilet has a flusher?" Dewmann asked, still tapping the man in the alligator shoes in the foot. "Yes I am! I guess you got one that's just automatic or something! Now stop f**king tapping my foot!"

Dewmann stopped. After his conversation with Fuji (which will be finished whenever/ifever Fuji posts his response.) He had decided to take a walk to clear his head. "Ok sorry! I just hate this random order of toilets they got here! One stall is automatic, the next has a flusher. It's crazy huh?" The man in the other stall didn't respond. "Must be too nervous to talk to a complete stranger in the bathroom stall next to him." Dewmann muttered to himself. He hadn't even needed to use the bathroom. He just liked waiting around in bathroom stalls, checking to see if they had flushers or not.

He was about to get up, when he heard someone's voice coming from down the row of stalls. It sounded like a woman, but he couldn't make out what she was saying, or even if he had heard a voice at all. He was about to ask the guy in the next stall over if he had heard something, but that man had already gotten out of the bathroom.

Dewmann's curiosity got the better of him, as he was going to try and be quiet and move to a closer stall without attracting attention, and hiding out in there in order to eavesdrop on whatever was going on. He had always been a nosy jerk whenever he was curious. But he obviously never let anyone else know that he had been eavesdropping. He didn't blackmail anyone, and often forgot about what he had heard after a while.

Dewmann slowly opened his stall door without making any noise just enough to stick his head out, and see a main at the end of the row of stalls looking at the last stall door.

Dewmann quickly left his stall, and hastily washed his hands, but still tried to make it look believable, (so in retrospect, maybe he shouldn't have washed them at all.) and left the bathroom, waited for the door to close. And then, ever so slowly and quietly, he opened the door again, and moved without making a sound into the bathroom, gently shutting the door behind him, tip-toeing toward the end of the stall row.

The man's attention was focused entirely on the stall door, but Dewmann still didn't want himself to be seen out of the corner of the man's eye. Opening the door of a stall, once again ever so gently and quietly, he entered, hopefully now he would be close enough to hear what was going on, without being noticed himself. He closed the door, in the same way he had opened it. He was being a full on Sam Fisher right now. Making sure the seat wasn't wet, with who knows what, Dewmann sat down, scooted towards the back of the toilet, and brought his legs up so he was sure he wouldn't be seen.


"Dude, are you even gonna say something?" Dewmann fianlly questioned Fuji's silence. "What's up?"
"I guess not." Fuji responded begrudgingly. Something has been in the air, but Fuji never quite knew what it was. He figured throwing an odd ball non sequitur type question would get Dewmann talking, but to no avail. Fuji started listlessly at the cardboard boxes that he's been backing for the last week. Dewmann is even resting his feet on the box labeled "Hey Dewmann, I'm moving out, this box is used to hold the kitchen stuff." To be fair to Dewmann, the poor handwriting of Fuji, followed by such a large block of text onto the side of a small box made the font be the size of fine print, made the Sharpie marker mark look like a design from Ikea, which, coincidently, matched the Kramfors sofa.

"Oh, don't be that way. I know when something is bothering you. What's going on?" Dewmann asked. Fuji stood there, shocked for he finally has the chance to say what he's been meaning to say.

"I don't know how to say this."
"Just say it..." Dewmann looked pensively into Fuji's beautiful brown eyes.
"Okay, here it goes," Fuji sighs as he sits down in the Poäng. "Do you ever feel like we are in some kind of yaoi fanfic?"
"Actually, now that I think about it, yeah." Dewmann said as he stood up, pushing his flowing outfit out of the way as he moves to the Poäng. "It's weird."
"I know. It feels like a game of gay chicken that no one backed out..."
"So... like... now that we've broken the fourth wall..."
"Wanna make out?"
"Dude! Not yaoi!"
"Right, right... so what do heterosexual life partners do together?"
"Get beer, talk about sports, point out which girl that they would like to double team, do the Chinese finger cuffs on, and high five each other while doing the Chinese finger cuffs on her."
"Okay... so... wait what?"
"I dunno, I read it somewhere. Wanna go get Cosmos?"


"i need you..." the voice repeats to dog breath
he tries the door and it swings open in slow motion. inside there was... nothing. had he imagined the beutifull woman in yellow?

Dewman inhaled sharply as he heard the stall open, only to have his breath catch in his throat. He had just remembered he had left Fuji waiting for him back at the bar, and he had no idea how long he would be hiding in this stall, hiding as if the cops or FBI where after him. He heard the other man grunt, almost in confusion, almost in sexual frustration.

"You can stop sneaking around." Dewman jumped, regained his composure the best he could, and stretched out his already cramping legs. Upon leaving his stall, he saw the gruffer man upclose, and a flash of realization hit him. Or maybe it was to many fruity drinks.

"DOG BREATH?" Dewman ran his fingers through his hair again, a motion he often liked to do because it sounded cool to type out.

"Aye. I'm back."

"I...we..everyone thought you left the city!"

"I had to, I was on the brink of destruction. But I'm back."

"The prostitutes missed you, man."

"Pfft. THEM." Dog Breath turned his head dramatically to look back at the stall he opened. "Those woman suck. And not in the good way."

"It happens."

"I have my eye on only one woman now."

"O..Only ONE?"

"Well, not really, but this girl is really something special." Dog breath released a bout of air before continuing. "Her vibrator..it was...transformers."

"That..IS something specia.." Dewman gagged on his words, almost stumbling forward. Dog Breath raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Did this girl...did she wear a bee suit?"

"She was in a lovely skin-tight dress." Dog Breath paused a moment to play with the image in his mind. "Yes, it resembled some sort of bee.."

"-censored swear- man, that was Rare!"

Dog Breath closed his eyes. "Rare."

They year is 2008. I knew I was in trouble when I saw her - her short spiked hair, her hello kitty rainbow hoodie. She was short, and tiny, and I was afraid I would rip her open had our relationship went anywhere special but for now, I watched her from afar, trying to talk to the birds, spitting on people's head from the roofs of her favorite abandoned houses. She was loud, and obnoxious, and I had a feeling she was doing every guy in town, or at least on the forums, but she was my best ho, and I loved her.

"Snap out of your cheesy flashback."

"I must find her again!" Dog Breath grabbed Dewman by the collar. "Are you still sleeping with Fuji?"

"We..I...we are not...yeah."

"Good, I need your guys help."

"I thought about it long and hard, and damn it 2me, I want a robot." Rare positioned herself on the wet and cold street, laying awkwardly in her silk dress. 2me looked up from his gutter and gave her a sympathetic smile.

"Where are you going to find a robot in this place, Rare? It's filled with nothing but nutella smugglers and bees. The knife-boot gang has made this place almost impossible to live in."

Rare sighed, and rested her chin on her hand. "I know that." Rare smiled and grabbed back the bracelet 2me stole from her whilst he was talking. "This place is perfect for a giant robot though. Or at least a smaller pet-sized."

"I'm no Casanova, but I think you can ask your pusher for one."

"Yeah, you and Romeo aint never been friends. But that's not a bad idea." Rare ran a finger through 2me's awesome serial-killer type beard. "You've given me ideas."

"I want to be in the middle."

"Not THAT kind of idea." Rare pushed herself off the ground, and realized her dress was gone. "Thanks 2me."

"For what?" 2me took a bite of his sandwich and waved a goodbye.

Sighing, Rare squeezed the necklace that hung right above her heart. Seconds later, 2me watched as a small bee flew away from the gutter, his hands wrapped around a yellow silk dress.

Fuji reaches out of bed and opens the fridge in a drunkenly sleepy haze and grabs a slice of munchy goodness. "And they all laughed at me when I put my bed in here. Sure, no one can cook in the kitchen now, but who cares?" Fuji thought. One look at the flashing microwave clock though, startled him awake. "Oh crap! I'm late..." passed through his head.

As he awkwardly put on hands, while brushing his teeth, hair, shaving, and apply Old Spice Red Zone deodorant with the prove it guarantee on freshness protection, he heard a knock at the door. Odd considering the time of night. His pants finally on, both legs through one leg, some how a pair of 52x32 got into the house and into his dresser, he waddles to the door and peers through the peep hole. Not really surprised, he opens the door.
"Forgot the key again?"
"Yeah, lost in a bathroom stall. I almost pulled a Larry Craig."
"'Wide stance'"
"Yeah. Oh hey! Look who I found who needs our help!" Dogbreath hesistantly appears.
"Yo." Dogbreath said.
"I found him in the last stall really pulling a Larry Craig." Dewmann shared.
"Dude, you and Larry Craig, what's up with that?" Fuji asked what Dogbreath had thought. All through the cab ride back to the place of residence, Dewmann kept bring up the disgraced former senator.
"Uh, what's with all the boxes? I thought you guys moved in a while back?" Dogbreath tried to change the topic.
"Oh, I realized that Dewmann and I aren't gay, but just happened to be a part of someone's weird and twisted yaoi fanfic. I'm still trying to recover from the effects of it, and so is Dewmann. It kinda explains the Cosmos we were drinking." Fuji continues to break the fourth wall and explains the back story of what all had happened previous to the current time. The days in Rome, Thailand, China, Australia, The Arctic, when they were both secret agents for the TGRS (never heard of them? THAT'S how secret they are), the profitable but morally questionable dry good empire they had built and how it all came crashing down, the knife fighting monkeys (actual knife that fought monkeys, the knife is currently 5-18-3 record), how they meet this guy with long white hair and dog ears, but they couldn't remember his name at all.
"And that's when they gave me my money..." Dewmann added as the closing line to the most epic of epics that he and Fuji told. All 100% true.
"Wow..." Dogbreath said exasperatedly. "You guys did a whole lot."
"Yeah, we did, but I gotta go to... er 'take care of things.' I'll be back later for to start moving out." Fuji said and even added the finger quotation marks like the pretentious ass that he is.
"Wait... you're moving out?" Dewmann had finally placed it all together, while popping some bubble wrap. The packing tape, the boxes, the poorly scribbled writing the boxes, the bubble wrap, the guys with the moving truck who would come into the residence every so often and move the boxes with the poor writing into the truck and drive off. "But you have to help me help Dogbreath help you to help me to help..." Dewmann was caught in another logical loop and there was no getting him out of it.

Gorgro had just been run over by a truck filled with boxes. He got up in a daze. "That's the third time today that happened" he thought to himself "Maybe i should stop standing in the middle of the road for no reason, but what else am i to do?"
As he wandered off he couldn't help but think these boxes belonged to someone that was once caught in a yaoi fanfic. "That's crazy," he said to noone in particular "boxes don't give a clear representation of all the major events in a person's life."
Gorgro sat down on the nearest bench and rubbed his ankles, where a strange hobo had grabbed him a few hours before. He also felt robbed somehow. He turned to the trashcan and spoke. "It's almost as if i only came into existence to be strange in a tale that has nothing to do with me, as if i were an unimportant character that eventually gets killed off, or that simply never returns." He stood up and adjusted the potted fern he had been wearing as a hat, turned around and walked off into the sunset despite it being midday. "Take that, science." he muttered.

I slowly open the stall my veins pulsing visibly. As the door swings wide I see the yellow dress draped over the toilet sheer and shimmering. I gather up the dress and carefully fold it and place it in my pimp bag. As I turn to leave the stall, I notice the humming noise again. My eye catches on a small toy like object in the corner, it's the vibrator the woman was carrying. I pick it up and examine it carefully. It looks like a transformer toy with dick legs. Like a bucket of cold water dumped over my head I am startled to see a small bee sitting on the transformer's shoulder. Not a normal bee but a tiny one with spiked hair and a microscopic hello kitty hoodie. It was the most sexy bee I had ever seen! I gently grasped the bee and placed it on my shoulder. I stuffed the toy in my pocket and exited the stall.

I noticed heavy breathing and a fapping noise in the next stall, it sounded like Larry Craig. "You can stop sneaking around." I said and the door to the stall opened. The obviously homosexual man that emerged from the stall shouts "DOGBREATH!". I continue with the usual greetings and tell the flaming queer the story of the lady in yellow. He asks me over to his place, I hesitate at first wondering what he REALLY wants but I comply. We arrive at his place and Fuji is there wearing cut-off shorts that are so short the white pockets show in front and a flannel shirt tied in a knot at the waist showing off his tanned rippling abs. Fuji appeared to be moving out but Dewman is oblivious. The gayness in that apartment was so thick you could hang a poofy valence on it. Fuji was no help at all, with all the sexual tension in the room I could barely get a well lubed word in with a fist. I felt Fuji and Dewman advancing toward me as I slowly backed into the corner. I remembered the transformer in my pocket.

I swept the toy from it's hiding place, it came out with a "POP". I manipulated it's dick legs and transformed it into a light saber. Waving it around wildly I neatly sliced in two a beautiful tiffany desk lamp a male Real Doll. My assailants slowly backed off. Dewman was visibly aroused and his erection was impossible to hide in his 70's stretch knit pants.
I pushed past the Homos and stumbled to the street. In all the commotion the half loaded moving van lurched foreword. The driver obviously shaken by the sight of a Pimp with a light saber being chased by a Gay Pride parade tried to escape the scene. The driver's escape was thwarted as he clobbered a traveling Botanist with the front bumper of the moving van. The driver leapt out and asked the prone plant enthusiast if he was OK but he should have kept driving. Dewman and Fuji leaped through the air like Gayzelles and decended on the driver covering him with hickies and tearing at his pants. The plant dude got up and dusted himself off acting like the collision was no big deal, almost as if it had happened before.

I remembered the hugely dangerous weapon in my hand and began transforming it back into a dick legged robot toy but with each fold it grew larger until it was too heavy to hold. As I dropped the toy to the ground it continued to transform on it's own. Soon I was looking up at an enormous robot with dick legs bigger than telephone poles. A small voice on my shoulder said "Yeaaaa!".

"Oh I forgot you were there little sexy bee" I said. The bee gave me a sweet kiss and flew off to land inside the head of the enormous dick legged robot. I grabbed the plant guy by the arm as he swung a potted fern to his head, placing it there as a hat. I released him and as he fled the phallic monster, I caught a glimpse of a lower back tattoo that said "Gorgro".

I grabbed my pimp sack and ran down the road followed closely by the bee guided penis monster.

Dewmann looked up at the giant sex-toybot, then back at Dogbreath leading it away. "He must have had one of his homo-visions again." He said. Fuji looked up from the truck driver. "Yeah, and they seem to be getting worse." He turned back to the truck driver. "Your nose looks broken from hitting it while running that guy over, are you sure you'll be ok?" The driver got up. "Oh yeah, i'll be fine- WHAT THE F**K!? THERE'S A DICK-LEGGED TRANSFORMER CHASING A GUY WITH A PIMP BAG!"

"No s**t." Fuji said. "So, should we go after him or something?" Dewmann started walking after the sight to behold. "He seems like he doesn't need help anymore." Dewmann noticed the figures fading. He turned to the truck driver. "Can you give us a ride over to them? I would very much like to see how exactly this turns out." Fuji raised an eyebrow. "You nosy mother-fu..." But he was already climbing into the back of the moving truck, Dewmann joining him inside. There was hardly enough room with all the boxes and such, but they were able to squeeze in without touching each other.

"So why were you moving again Fuji?"

Suddenly a rather tattered yellow and black furry bee suit fell from the ceiling of the the truck, followed by a rather tattered hairy hobo.
"2me, what the hell?" Fuji exclaimed. Dewmann sighed inwardly.. 'Will I ever be able to have this conversation, dammit?' He thought. Since he's hardcore, he thought it really loud.
The truck continued to lurch along the road as 2me moved to the back of the compartment and opened the doors.
"Guys, I think this is my stop. Oh, before I go.. Neither of you would have some spare change by any chance?"
Fuji and Dewmann both shook their heads slowly.
"Ah well," 2me sighed, "Gotta go!"
And without further conversation he jumped out of the truck and into the night.
"He knew damn well we had spare change." Dewmann muttered. Fuji looked up "How could he have known?"

"Because I had a couple of quarters in my pocket. I should have just given them to him. Woulda just turned out the same anyway."


The ground gave way as Rare now took flight, a little yellow bullet dead to the world, to fast for the naked eye to see. The city looked different to a bee, and whilst normal people would have trouble flying STRAIGHT (especially Dewman and Fuji), Rare took to the sky with ease, little wings beating rapidly against her back, which brought back both arousing and disturbing memories.

"Never again." Rare muttered as she thought back to the Poniard Scheme Musical Theater.

Diving into the rotting forest by the diseased city, Rare noticed just how many negative nouns she had stored in her head. "Well this grimy piece of crap never changed."

The sun was at its highest peak, and so was the temperature, and standing in front of the broken and abandoned library with nothing but her underwear now didn't seem so bad to Rare. "Silk dresses never really last in this heat, do they?" Rare made a mental note to not accept the dress back from 2me - she KNEW what hobos did. She KNEW.

"Dammit, I forgot the base code." Rare glared at the code-lock that stood between her and the machine she desperately needed.

"It's 8008135." Rare nodded, not bothering to find the body of the voice. "Thanks Lala. That sounds about right for me."

Entering the code, Rare pushed open the rusted door, wondering why the hell a library would have a metal door.

"EVERYthing here is metal." Lala reminded.

Inside, it was true - even the book were metal. "No one reads anymore." Lala explained, "They are just for show. The computers work though, but only to porn sites."


"Are you looking for 9r05717u710n?"

"No, 9r05717u710n was found by the police and his ring of illegal asian bot smuggling was ended. I'm looking for 71m3b07"

"Timebot missed you! He's in the basement area."

"Alright, take me down Lala."

"I would love to take you down."

And so, Lala took Rare down, a long and hard ride, leaving both of them tired at the end.

"That was rough, Lala!"

"I'm sorry, the elevators are old."

"Go easier next time, you hurt my ass."

"I will try, but honestly I like it rough."

As the best pokemon leader who also happened to be a tree, Rare suddenly understood this. A tree Elite 4 champion WOULD like it rough.

"Here he is!" Lala uncovered a small robot, who looked like a bullet. "And hes recharged!"

"Oh Timebot I missed you!" Rare hugged the bullet, who began to vibrate in response. "And always so eager!"

"I kept him warm for you, but honestly he scares me."

"He tends to do that to newbies. Wish me luck!"

"Good luck Ho!"


"You can stop sneaking around."


"Whooo stomping dick robot!" Rare controlled the robot with ease, savoring the sound of the robot dick legs stomping in buildings. "Must remember to keep this away from Fuji and Dewman."

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78 Re: Forum One Archives on Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:42 pm

"It is YOU who should be more careful! Use your turn signals! Follow the rules of the road and always buckle your safety belts!"


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79 Re: Forum One Archives on Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:42 pm

Quotes from Reservoir Dogs:

"Beat it or I'll call the brute squad!"
"I'm on the brute squad."
"...You are the brute squad."

"Love is the greatest thing in the world- except for a nice MLT, a mutton lettuce and tomato sandwich when the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is just right- it's so perky, I love that."

"Mawwiage! Twue wuv!"

"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means."

Some Princess Bride quotes:

"You gonna bark all day, little puppy? Or are you gonna bite?"

"I'm gonna fuckin' die!" "You're not gonna fuckin' die! Just say the fuckin' word!"

"Maybe he's the fuckin' rat!"

"I'm fuckin' deformed!"
"Fuck you, I'm DYIN'!"

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80 Re: Forum One Archives on Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:43 pm

"I'll tell you what's wrong with your truck. It's a Ford. You know what they say Ford stands for, don't you? It stands for Fix It Again, Tony."

"You're thinking of a Fiat, Dale."


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81 Re: Forum One Archives on Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:43 pm

Fox McCloud: [after beating the bio weapon at Aquas] We're preparing to dock! Thanks Slip! Blue Marine came through
Peppy Hare: Slippy's not such a screw up after all
Slippy Toad: Thanks a lot Peppy!
Falco Lombardi: [sarcastically] I'll take the sky any day
Slippy Toad: [annoyed] Sheesh Falco! You too!

.....Fuck you Slippy.

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82 Re: Forum One Archives on Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:43 pm

And behold a pale horse, and he that sat upon him, his name was Death, and hell followed him. And power was given to him over the four parts of the earth, to kill with sword, with famine, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
Revelations 6:8

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83 Re: Forum One Archives on Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:43 pm

Why do we have to email it again?

Name: Dewmann

Sex: male

Age: 18

Good or Evil: Good

Planning or Meh, whatever: Can be obnoxious, and oblivious. But never seems to turn down a favor, as long as he isn't hurting anyone. Well most of the time that's how it is.

Class: Melee

Race/Speices: Human

Magic: Has a bottled aphrodisiac he knows how to create that, when he sprays on himself, makes him irresistable to women that he finds attractive. And some men, although that part is unintended. (I also kind of stole this from the first episode of Torchwood. Sorry Russell T. Davies. I had to do it. I just couldn't resist.)

Character Bio: With an income stemming from his slightly overpriced food sales, Dewmann has moved in with Fuji, and is currently just aware that Fuji is moving out of their apartment.

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84 Re: Forum One Archives on Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:44 pm

Good or Evil:evil >:D
Planning or Meh, whatever:loves everyone, but is somehow evil.
Magic:can turn into the giving tree on comand
Character Bio:rares favourite tree to pollinate. she finally ells rare she is a human and now rare hates her for lieing to her all these years.

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85 Re: Forum One Archives on Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:44 pm

Name: Lilka
Sex: F
Age: 27
Good or Evil: Neutral Good
Planning or Meh, whatever: Eh, whichever.
Class: Druid
Race/Speices: Human
Magic: Sure. Shapshifting, typical druid magic.
Character Bio: Fan of long-range weapons. Loves to give "surprises" to people while in animal form. Surprises may consist of piles of poo or surprise sex. Favorite form: Jaguar.

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86 Re: Forum One Archives on Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:44 pm

Name: Kuma
age: 19
Alignment: Neutral Chaotic
Planning or Meh, whatever: Dunno what this means, but I'll say planning
Class: Warlock
Race: Shape-shifting human/bear
Magic: Rope tricks, card tricks, CANCER BEAM, elemental magic
Bio: Kuma isn't all that sure what to make of all this, but has decided to play along anyway. Kuma is generally peaceful, but if provoked may tear your f***ing head off. Kuma is open to suggestions about the back story as Kuma is out of ideas.

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87 Re: Forum One Archives on Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:45 pm

Oh, here's my addition to the story

"Hmm, A giant robot with legs shaped like phalluses is pulverizing the city" thought Kuma "There's a joke in there somewhere but for the life of me I can't see what it is... and what's with this crazy weather we've been having? First it's night time and raining out, next it's high noon during summer time and then it's cold and wintery again. It's like we have six different people deciding what the weather is at random intervals" *Starts snowing* "WHAT THE HELL!!!" *Temperature shoots up to 100 and it's nightime* "SERIOUSLY!!!" *TORNADOES at midnight* "GODDAMMIT!!!!" *Balmy spring afternoon* "Wait a second... I'm narrating now... That means I CONTROL THE WEATHER MWAHAHA!!! Now, let's take care of dick bot" *midnight with a temperature of -10, no wind, no precipitation*
That should bring him down to size.

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88 Re: Forum One Archives on Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:45 pm

Name: Gorgro
Sex: Male
Age: 18
Good or Evil: Hilariously evil
Planning or Meh, whatever: Not sure what this is :/
Class: Mage
Race/Speices: Troll
Magic: Fire, and lots of it.
Character Bio: Gorgro tries to be evil, he really does. Because he's easily distracted and gets in alot of accidents (yet somehow never gets badly hurt), most people dont take him seriously, but he'll show them, he'll show them all. However, he desperatly needs allies, because he's no use on his own.

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89 Re: Forum One Archives on Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:45 pm

((Double post! I just learned how to make my downloads faster. Maybe now Taco and Steve will get there gifts sooner then next week!))

Rare felt the quick decline of temperature and immediately realized what was happening. Her questionable content robot was loosing power, and with every energy drain from the battery resulted in the robot shrinking - with her in it!

"NOT cool Kuma!" Rare shouted from the cockpit before turning into a bee to make her escape. She barely made it out when the robot landed with a *CLUNK* on the city streets, a path of destruction behind it.

"Blast it, Kuma, I was going to make it into a deception!" Rare immediately began to plot where she would get next robot of destruction, or R.O.D, when a light bulb went off in her head (or maybe it was because KUMA WAS NOW MAKING THE SUN BEAT DOWN STRAIGHT ON HER), sending her to a yellow ball of pollened frenzy towards the junkyard.

(Gots a headache, this is all I could bang out, will type longer next time!)

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90 Re: Forum One Archives on Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:46 pm

Name: 2me
Sex: Male
Age: 17
Good or Evil: mostly neutral but eventually comes out on the side of good
Planning or Meh, whatever: Planning
Class: empath, ninja-thief
Race/Speices: Human
Magic: Master thievery and item crafting skills. Stealth?
Character Bio: A hobo who also happens to be a ninja-thief, no-one seems to know why 2me appears when and where he does, least of all himself, but he always disappears when trouble threatens only to reappear and stab it in the back. Lives wherever and always has food and other helpful items.

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91 Re: Forum One Archives on Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:46 pm

Name: Jonny "Knight" Johnson. (Don't worry, not my real last name)
Sex: Male?
Age: 17
Good or Evil: Unswervingly good.
Planning or Meh, whatever: Meh? I think?
Class: empath, scientist, kingdom hearts fanboy
Race: human, though may transform into an alligator park ranger at the drop of a hat.
Magic: Science-based energies, Dinosaur Comics T-Rex summon, xkcd computer throw of Awesomeness. science!
Character Bio: Nicknamed Knight for his great nobility and selflessness. Though young, his encyclopedic knowledge of other worlds is as mighty a boon as any weapon. Generally he prefers to use his wits in battle, but if he has to fight he will use the Photon Debugger keyblade, a sonic screwdriver, and the blinding power of Science!

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92 Re: Forum One Archives on Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:46 pm

Name: tacoline
Sex: female
Age: 19
Good or Evil: good,although alot of my allies misteriosly shoot themselves... in the back. we all agreed that it was an accident that wasnt anyones fault.
Planning or Meh, whatever: insane taco lady roams around the city wearing a straight jacket. randomly talks about silent hill and the end of all days.
Class: tank, she wont flippin die!
Race/Speices: taco
Magic: magicly delicious! causes chaos and disorder at random times that she cant control. also can make it rain tacos.
Character Bio: taco was a science experiment gone wrong at the "base" that rare mentioned earlyer. she is considered insane and dangerous

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93 Re: Forum One Archives on Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:46 pm

Name: Spazit
Sex: Male
Age: 18
Good or Evil: Self-serving
Planning or Meh, whatever: I do whatever.
Class: Voyer.
Race/Speices: Mostly human
Magic: Camera
Character Bio: Enjoys windows.

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94 Re: Forum One Archives on Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:52 pm

It felt good to be out of the rain!
In the desert, you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain,
La, la, la-a la la la, la la la, laa la...

"We're gonna need a bigger boat."

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95 Re: Forum One Archives on Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:52 pm

Daffy: You're a dirty dog.

Bugs: And you are a dirty skunk!

Daffy: I'm a dirty skunk?! I'm a DIRTY SKUNK?!

Bugs: *holds up 'Dirty Skunk Season Open' sign*

Daffy: *big eyes* mommy... *gets beak blasted to the other side of his head*


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96 Re: Forum One Archives on Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:53 pm

Gray Fox: That's it, Snake. Hurt me more. Make me feel alive again. (ahem)

Solid Snake: Damn!

Colonel: I hear it's amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink on Hara-Kiri Rock. I need scissors! 61!

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97 Re: Forum One Archives on Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:54 pm

We do love our BBQ and liquid petroleum.

Granted I lived across the street from a functioning oil well much of my life, I live 3 miles from a refinery, I'm on top of several salt domes and you can't dig around here without calling to see if any natural gas pipelines are buried. It isn't all tumbleweeds and oil wells. Granted the stereotype exists because well it exists.

Arlen Texas isn't a real place but numerous areas between San Antonio/Austin and Dallas/Fort Worth can fit the billing to the T. Seriously

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98 Re: Forum One Archives on Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:54 pm

Yeah, it's nothing like King of the Hill here, but where my dad grew up is a lot like that. Where he grew up when he lived in Texas, anyways. Not Colorado.

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99 Re: Forum One Archives on Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:54 pm

I just had a mental picture of Ziggy in a spacesuit designed for underwater use with a flower on the helmet-dome...[]

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100 Re: Forum One Archives on Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:55 pm

Somehow I knew this confusion would ensue right after I posted this. But I couldn't edit it, because THERE'S NO EDIT BUTTON. The horror.

I'm talking Pokemon. Although I sweep gyms with my massive thunderthighs, for future reference.

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